short funny jokes

I have collected some funny jokes which will tickle your funny bone for sure. These are short funny jokes, some are not exactly that short but yet I will have to say them as short because if you are an impatient person you may browse away straight from this page without reading my short funny jokes! thats was just a joke! If any of my short jokes make you laugh even once, then my purpose is served. Go ahead and read them at your own risk!

short funny jokes #1

Father: Hey is the initial ground work for the project done ?

Contractor: It will be done sir but will take time.

Father: Put more men at work then. I want it to be done quickly.

(contractor goes son comes in with a sad mood and a demand)

Son: Dad, I want one cute litle sister rite now.... (weeping)

Father: Ok son but it will take time.

Son: put more men at work then. I want it to be done quickly.

short funny jokes #2

Magistrate: Mr. phillipine please give a valid reason for your divorce with Mrs. phillipine.

Mr. Phillipine: My lord. Me no come, she no come, Baby come.... How come ?

short funny jokes #3

Wife: Darling no one's at home, lets take advantahe of this romantic situation. what say sweet heart!

Husband: ba.. but darling.. I am with you.. and you are with me.. so how come are we both alone ???

short funny jokes #4

Son: Mom why do you jump on father's tummy in the night ?

Mom: this is to pump out extra air from your father's tummy son, so that he becomes slim!

Son: whats the use mom, the nieghbourhood aunty pumps all the air back into dad through her mouth.

short funny jokes #5

Teacher: john... who was responsible for the 9/11 incident.

John: teacher.. I swear... not me...

short funny jokes #6

Mr sardar: Hey u lets play a game.. if i win i will give u $5 and if u win u will pay me $5

Tom: not intrested brother.

Mr sardar: ok if i win u pay me $5 and if u win i will pay full $500!

Tom: (disgusted) fine, go ahead.

Mr. sardar: ok great so i will as first! 'whats the distance between the earth and The jupiter'

Tom: (pulls out a $5 note and hands it over to mr. sardar)

Mr sardar: hahah I win now u ask!

Tom: what is that which climbs up the hill with 3 legs but has four legs when it climbs down.

Mr. sardar: (thinks for about half an hour takes his lappy and searches over the internet, calls up his friends and relatives and tries every source available to get that answer)

Mr. sardar: ohh damn here's your $500.

Tom: (takes and accommodates the bunch of notes in his pocket)

Mr. sardar: Now say what was the answer for that ?

Tom: (pulls out another $5 note from his pocket, hands it over to mr. sardar and walks away!)

short funny jokes #7

patient: doc why is this flower necklace for ?

Doctor: this is my first operation.. if succeeds than its for me.. if not.. than its for you..

short funny jokes #8

Girlfriend: sweetheart i guess its high time that we marry

Boyfriend: thats a great idea but.. who will marry us ????

short funny jokes #9

James: I married because i was tired of cleaning home, washing clothes, cooking food.... and much more...

Jhonny: Amazing! I divorced for the same!

short funny jokes #10

Teacher: why are you late ?

College girl: One boy was following me all the way mam.

Teacher: So what ?

College girl: That boy was walking very slow...